Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Britney Spears: Smells sells

Something of a rubicon crossed this week: With her 16th fragrance, Britney Spears has now released twice as many toilet waters as albums.


Slowdive rely on the kindness of strangers

So Slowdive arrived in Taipei...


Unfortunately, their equipment decided not to travel.

Would the good people of Taipei come through for the band?

Yes. Yes, they did.

Turns out the plane with the equipment on got caught up in a typhoon cancellation. Slowdive will be reunited with their many, many effects pedals in Japan.


What are you even doing,VH1?

No, seriously, VH1... what the hell is this?

Underneath this, someone called Christopher Rosa burbles over a bunch of photos from the previous decade where you could, like, see the side of women's breasts and everything:
A key ingredient to wild pop star style of the 2000s was plunging—and we mean plunging—necklines
It gets worse as it goes along.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that: We’re firmly behind the Free the Nipple campaign that asserts women’s rights to go topless.
This might sound familiar to you. You're probably thinking of the bit in Knowing Me, Knowing You were Alan Partridge can barely contain himself talking about feminists wanting to burn bras.
These pop stars were basically before their time; with each dangerously plunging neckline, Beyonce, Jessica Simpson, Xtina and the gang were telling us that women should get to show off their top-halves too. It really was the golden era.
Dude, you could see tits. And you didn't even have to hide in the bushes outside the nurse's home.
If you’re in the mood to walk on the wild side, check out these 10 almost nip-slip ensembles. We recommend jamming out to Britney Spears Pandora while browsing…you know, to get the full “dirty pop” effect.
And by "jamming out to Britney Spears" we're certain Christopher Rosa means "using a sports sock".


Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Tim McGraw slaps woman, sorrynotsorry

This weekend, Tim McGraw was playing a gig in Atlanta this weekend. His fans got a little bit boisterous, ripping at his jeans...

Wait a moment. Tim McGraw? People ripping at his clothing? Really?

Apparently so. Carry on.


So his jeans were tattered. One woman tried to grab the already rent garment, and McGraw slapped her.

Since then, he's had time to think about slapping a woman in the face for behaving like a fan at a Tim McGraw gig, and you know what? He thinks he did the right thing:

“Sometimes things can lose context and perspective. I reacted in an instinctive, defensive way from my perspective of what was going on,” he told [TMZ]. “I think it was an unfortunate situation I think all the way around. But it happened, it happened in a split second, it was pure instinctive reaction, I think you just got to move on.
Now, it's a while since anyone hit me (hard to believe, I guess, but it's true) but isn't the "let's move on" generally in the gift of the person whose face bears the imprint of the other's hand?
“It is one of those things that happen, nobody feels good about it, but there’s nothing that could be done about it,” the Grammy winner added. “You are in that position, you are out there, you are vulnerable, things happen and sometimes you react. There’s nothing to be said about it.”
Except you weren't really vulnerable, were you, Tim. Leaving aside the fact you were surrounded by security, generally the vulnerable end of a slapping is the one not attached to the hand.

It's good to see that McGraw doesn't feel good about it - although not as badly as the woman whose face he slapped, you'd imagine. But strange he can't think of anything that can be done about it.

Or, more precisely, given that any sort of apology might be taken as a weakness opening a door to a potential lawsuit, he can't think of anything that could be done.

Mind you, the woman's probably lucky. Given this was in Georgia, and they have a stand your ground law, she's lucky that McGraw didn't have a gun.


Soulobit: James Govan

James Govan, Memphis fixture and soul hero, has died.

Perhaps held back by being known as "Little Otis" than in his own right, Govan's work recently had been directed at Memphis tourists. Dean Rudland at Ace Records has been working to try and build a profile for Govan that matched his talent, releasing a collection of Govan's work for Fame last year.

Rudland told the Commercial Appeal why he got involved:

“He may never have become a household name, and the records he made were few and far between, but when he was allowed to record he made better use of that time than armies of inferior hit-makers.”

Govan had been in poor health since a stroke in 2012. He died Friday 18th July in Memphis at the age of 64.


Monday, July 21, 2014

Beyonce is put into a museum

Exciting news from Elle:


You'll note it's her "hotness" rather than her successes as a musician, entertainer or businesswoman that Elle thinks is being celebrated.

Still, this is a "major museum" - which could it be? The Smithsonian? The V&A? Maybe even the Guggenheim?

Which is it, Elle?
32-year-old Beyoncé isn't eligible for induction to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame until 2022, but that hasn't stopped the museum from putting on an exhibit celebrating Queen B.
Oh. So it's a bunch of her outfits down by the Cleveland docks. This is news on a par with "is being added to the waxworks at Tussaurds."


Sunday, July 20, 2014

How does this work, exactly?

Where's the best place to buy an iTunes exclusive album?

Er, Amazon, apparently.


This week just gone

A year of questions: 'why' search terms that have led to No Rock in the last twelve months:

1. No rock n roll why??
2. Why "thank god it's them instead of you" Bandaid?
3. Why do The Glammers keep their identity hidden?
4. Why is it always Dairylea, when the contract stipulated brie?
5. Why myspace did not tell anyone they was deleted your stuff?
6. Why no AC/DC on itunes?
7. Why no Beady Eye on BBC Glastonbury?
8. Why the internet is bad
9. Why was Gary Barlow in the wilderness for so long?
10. death and rock & roll: in your opinion, why do rock & roll stars live 38.9 years less than other people? what about the person who chooses that profession makes them live half as long as everyone else? make your case to the "jury" using the evidence

These came out, and might be interesting:


Slow Club - Complete Surrender


Download Complete Surrender



Icarus Line - Avowed Slavery


Download Avowed Slavery



Various - 8 Bit Operators Tribute to Depeche Mode


Saturday, July 19, 2014

Burke takes a long walk from Mandela gig

If you want to do a secret gig, you should really do a secret gig. Like the Mandela birthday gig coming up in Chalk Hill, which is so secret one of the advertised acts, Alexandra Burke, appears to not know how she even ended up on the bill:

The Bad Boys hitmaker was billed to appear alongside artists including former M People singer Heather Small, gospel musician Sandra Godley and Rwandan pop star Kitoko at the Nelson Mandela Day Concert in Chalk Farm, but she insists she was never booked for the charity gig.

Taking to her Facebook.com page on Thursday (17Jul14), she writes, "Despite being a worthy cause, I'm afraid I am not performing at the Mandela Day Concert this Friday.

"My performance has been advertised under false pretences. My fans know that I am currently performing in (stageshow) The Bodyguard. Sorry to disappoint anybody who has brought (sic) tickets thinking I was performing. No agreement exists".
The Groupon deal still has Burke's name attached to it (a Groupon? Oh, yes, that's a tribute to one of the greatest politicians of all time right there, isn't it?).

The good news? June Sarpong is still on board.

Yes, that's the closest we can get to good news.


Shh... it's a Jesus And Mary Chain secret

An email comes from a server with exciting news:

SECRET JESUS AND MARY CHAIN DUBLIN SHOW
It's not actually a secret show if you're sending an email (to a list not BCCed), is it? Perhaps wind it in a bit for the email body:
Now in Dublin rehearsing for their upcoming festival and tour dates - and loving it - the Jesus and Mary Chain will play a low key date.
"Low key date" is a bit more accurate.

It's at Vicar Street, Dublin on July 31st. Ticketmaster are doing the ticketing, I'm afraid, so be prepared to pay unacceptable fees so that the costs of doing business don't have to eat into Ticketmaster's lovely, lovely profit base.


Pictures of Louis Tomlinson fail to purchase football club

The much ballyhooed takeover of Doncaster Rovers by Louis Tomlinson is about to collapse, as the Football League isn't impressed.

Of course, Tomlinson was never actually going to buy the club, but was instead helping a fan-funded trust purchase the team. But it's not working out:

The Trust's Crowdfunder total currently stands at £757,796 from 514 backers, well short of the £2m target. Tomlinson had declared that he was going to charge £250 per selfie, in order to raise money for the club.
It must be a bit galling for Tomlinson. I bet he's aware Harry Styles could probably raise enough from selling selfies to buy Man United. Or at least Everton.

The grown-ups who are helping Louis with the bid are a bit upset:
Clearly angered by the decision, [John] Ryan told BBC Radio Sheffield: "The situation is that the crowd-funder didn't succeed and we are very sorry about that but the real problem is with the Football League.

"They have made it so difficult now that unless you have a bag full of cash you are going to get turned down."
You can understand his frustration, but 'not raising the amount of cash required to ensure the team can function' does seem to be less a problem with the Football League and more about the people trying to raise the money.

Still: you can't purchase a medium-sized business with huge running costs and variable income streams without having a lot of money. Every day is an education, isn't it?


Friday, July 18, 2014

Lady GaGa follows Jessie J's lead; returns bixesuality paperwork

Missed this at the start of the month, but caught up with it via the estimable and admirable Biscuit webzine: Lady GaGa has moved on from saying she's bisexual to, apparently, forgetting:

“Atlantic City Baby. Straights celebrating their pride by unLEASHING our gayness. @thedirtypearls @tommylondon Be proud. We were born this way. #TellemAsia”

… and so famously “bisexual” star Lady Gaga revealed to her Instagram followers that she now considers herself “straight”.
Usual caveats about how your sexual identity is, precisely, your sexual identity and that all our identities are fluid, of course; but even so... there's a lingering sense that maybe GaGa was wearing bisexual for exactly the same reasons she wore a meat dress: not because it was comfortable, but to try and get a reaction.


Kiran Leonard downgraded

Record of the Day allows Kiran Leonard eight seconds of glory before cruelly ripping off his award and handing it to We Were Promised Jetpacks instead:


Adele selling house: vacant, possession

In other property news, Adele is flogging off her Sussex mansion:

Singer Adele puts her ‘haunted’ house in Partridge Green up for sale
Wow. Haunted? Really, The Evening Argus?
Adele famously gave a US TV host a guided tour of the mansion in 2012 but also reportedly believed it was haunted.

She told 60 Minutes presenter Anderson Cooper that one corridor in particular was “quite scary really”.
By the way, "Adele's Scary Corridor" is a great option if you're looking to give a Shambling Revival band a name.

So not really haunted, then, just a corridor. Anything else?
She also claimed to have heard strange noises in part of the building which used to be a convent – so she reportedly paid a bodyguard £100,000 to stay with her in the listed building.
What, exactly, would be the point of a bodyguard if you've got a ghost nun clattering about your vestibule? You'd want a Ghostbuster, or at the very least an exorcist.

The house is on at six million, but Kirstie and Phil suggest you should be able to get at least ten per cent off to cover the costs of cleaning the ectoplasm off the hardwood floors.


Liam Gallagher is selling up

Trouser-magnate and former Beatles tribute star Liam Gallagher is selling his home on Central Park:

You can have your own little “oasis,” if you purchase Liam Gallagher’s two-bedroom, 2½-bathroom, 1,575-square-foot condo, which is on the market for $4 million.

The ’90s British rock star who started the band Oasis with his brother Noel is putting his 17th-floor unit at the Essex House at 160 Central Park on the market.
For someone who strutted about believing he was a reboot of John Lennon, you've got to admit that buying a flat on the skirt of Central Park does take a certain degree of guts.

The flat apparently has a 40-bottle wine cooler and maid and valet service. Man of the people.


Thursday, July 17, 2014

Lady GaGa says "tighten your faucet"

How bad is the drought in Southern California right now?

They've had to draft in Lady GaGa.

Apparently it's not so serious they've drafted in someone who can operate a camera and a microphone - unless they were actually aiming for a 'last message recorded by humanity before the end of the world' vibe. But serious enough for GaGa deployment.


Buble has mouth fixings

Michael Buble had been preparing for a gig in Manchester, New Hampshire when he tried to open a packet of ketchup with his teeth. And dislodged a crown.

A call went out for a dentist:

Bloom was in surgery Friday morning when he received an unusual call.

“The assistant comes in and says, ‘Dr. Bloom, your wife is on the phone,’ and I’m thinking, ‘Who died? What happened to the dog? What happened to the hour?’” Bloom said.
Bloom fixed up Buble's mouth, the show went on and Bloom got tickets and a call-out during the show.

Yes, without David Bloom's intervention, nobody would have had to listen to Michael Buble in New Hampshire that day. After nearly 40 years, Laurence Olivier's Dr Szell finally has a challenger for the 'inflicting misery using dental instruments' crown.

(Seriously: Buble - despite having the sort of pain which makes you seek out a dentist, Buble was still charm itself. He might be a hoofer, but he's a hell of a trooper.)


Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Matthew Healy saves dog, car; except doesn't, quite

Karen and Yasemin Gokoglu spotted Matthew Healy out of the 1975 doing a thing, and ran over excitedly to have their photo taken with him.

After all, as the Western Morning News observes, he's not just Matthew Healy, he's...

Hunky Matthew Healy from the group 'The 1975'
Trouble is, he's so very, very hunky he had caused them to lose their minds, and forget something basic. They'd forgotten to put the handbrake on their car.

The car - complete with dog on backseat - started to roll away:
Matthew saw it rolling down hill with their pet Shih Tzu on the back seat and the trio gave chase - before red-faced Karen was able to hop inside and apply the brakes.
The Western Morning News headlines this adventure:
Well-known pop star saves Mercedes from run-away disaster in Plymouth
As we've noted before, if your name isn't strong enough to make sense in a headline, you're probably not actually well-known at all. (And "well-known"? Not even "famous"? Could the subs not come up with a milder term? "Slightly familiar pop star...")

And he didn't actually save the car, as we've heard, because it was Karen who jumped in the car and saved it.

Hunky Matthew Healy was in town for an MTV Crash gig, which would give us an easy, lazy punchline but...
Karen said [...] "I can laugh about it now but I was shaking like a leaf at the time. I've only had the car two weeks. It could have really been an MTV crash."
Karen's beaten me to it. Faster than Hunky Matthew Healy running down a hill, faster than everyone for hitting a punchline.


Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Apparently they're still talking about the second multiplex

It seemed, about six years ago, the idea of a second national DAB multiplex died with Channel 4 Radio. Certainly, now that so many people listen to the radio (and "radio") through the internet the idea that anyone would want to invest a fortune reviving the idea in 2014 seems unlikely... hang on... what's this, mediaGuardian?

Commercial radio rivals Magic owner Bauer and TalkSport parent UTV Media have joined forces in a bid to succeed where Channel 4 failed with a joint application to run the second national digital radio multiplex.

The radio groups have teamed up with transmission business Arqiva for their application for the licence to run the second nationwide digital audio broadcasting (DAB) platform, which will be home to around 10 new national radio services.
Why? In god's name, why?
Arqiva owns the only national DAB multiplex to launch to date, Digital One, which is full to capacity with 14 stations, including five from Bauer – Absolute Radio and its spin-offs Absolute 80s and Absolute Radio 90s, Planet Rock and Kiss – and UTV’s TalkSport.
Mmmm. Full to capacity. It's certainly true that there are no spare slots on the DAB One Multiplex, but given that Smooth is about to leave the multiplex and is being replaced with yet-another-late-20th-century oldies station the idea that there's a load of exciting ideas just waiting to find space seems unlikely.


Monday, July 14, 2014

Washington and Qantas settle

Remember almost a year ago Megan Washington got upset when Qantas posted video of her singing a song praising the company?

The case she bought has been settled, although the terms of the agreement aren't being revealed. So it could be anything from an extra bread roll with an in-flight meal, to two tickets between Brisbane and Adelaide.


Sunday, July 13, 2014

Consumers Association about to kick ticket agencies' asses

Long-running complaints about ticket agencies are going to come to a head this week, with the Consumer Association telling them to justify their add-on costs or face a formal referral to the Competition & Markets Authority:

"Consumers can often feel ripped-off with widely varying and often high ticket fees, so we've put companies on notice to step up and Play Fair on Ticket Fees," said Which? executive director, Richard Lloyd, quoting the name of the consumer body's ongoing ticket fee campaign. "They need to justify their fees and treat their customers fairly, or we will take our evidence to the Competition and Markets Authority."
The weasel-livered explanation offered for charging people to print out their own tickets on their own printers in their own homes is, apparently, the agencies need to check the tickets when they're presented at the venue. Righto.


Bookmarks: 4AD

This is a few months old now, and so you've probably already consumed it and moved on, but just in case...

BookD interviews Matt Johnson, Miki Berenyi and Simon Raymonde about their time on 4AD.


Gary Barlow to launch investigation into how he could have been avoiding tax

I think the most heartbreaking thing about Gary Barlow's response to his tax "avoiding" ways is that it's taken him months of knotted-brow think-clunking to come up with the "I know, I'll pretend that when I signed off on that scheme that was going to save me all that tax, nobody told me I was signing off on a scheme that was going to avoid tax" defence:

He is now investigating how accounting staff allowed his money to be put into the fund.

The singer has vowed to “leave no stone unturned”.
It's not clear yet whether Barlow has appointed a person to carry out this investigation into Barlow, but rumours suggest he might invite Gary Barlow to lead the inquiry.
A source close to the star revealed: “This is an incredibly complex issue and Gary is looking into it carefully.

"He is trying to get to the bottom of it."
'For instance, just yesterday, he went through one of the big chests stuffed with money and jewels to see if he could find any of the paperwork relating to the tax scheme.' (Pictured)

The "source" is keen to stress that there's no way that Gary could be expected to know what he was doing:
“Gary’s view is that he put his trust in the hands of financial experts. He is a musician, he knows nothing about money, he never has, so he entrusted people to advise him.

“He writes music and he sings and he pays finance ­experts to keep his money safe and do the right thing with it.

"Gary isn’t evil, he isn’t a money grabber and he is very upset about this."
Very, very upset. You know, how can you be expected to know when your financial advisors tell you that putting your money into a scheme will magic away your tax liabilities that that's a bad thing to do, right?
“He isn’t passing the buck ­either.

“He is trying to sort this out, to make sure others don’t find themselves in the same position.”
That's Gary Barlow, there, bravely not passing the buck by, erm, blaming his advisors and threatening to sue them.

You'll notice that Barlow's ire is directed at finding out who got him involved in the arrangements that got him into trouble. If he was really contrite, wouldn't he be trying to get sympathetic journalists to write about how he's investigating if he's been badly advised into joining other schemes?


This week just gone

Five years ago: These are the July 2009 stories which have proved most popular since:

1. Panic At The Disco split
2. Daily Mirror invents feud between Little Boots and the Saturdays
3. Win Alison Mosshart's jeans
4. RIP: Gordon from Peter & Gordon
5. Sandi Thom releases a greatest hits albums
6. Video: MGMT cover Voices Carry
7. @diditleak alerts people to leaky music
8. Janes Addiction wants to take copyright in any photos of them
9. Charles Moore decides its okay to not pay licence fee because of Jonathan Ross
10. One of the Jonas Brothers get engaged


These were out this week, and worth thinking about:


Comet Gain - Paperback Ghosts


Download Paperback Ghosts



Sweet Baboo - The Marc Riley BBC Sessions




Plank! - Hivemind


Download Hivemind



Sia - 1000 Forms Of Fear


Download 1000 Forms Of Fear



Pete Fij & Terry Bickers - Broken Heart Surgery


Download Broken Heart Surgery



Manic Street Preachers - Futurology


Download Futurology



Marc Almond - Ten Plagues


Download Ten Plagues


Saturday, July 12, 2014

Punkobit: Tommy Ramone

The last original Ramone, Tommy Ramone, has died at the age of 65.

Born in Budapest under the less t-shirt friendly name of Erdélyi Tamás, he was only meant to be the band's manager but had to become the drummer when he couldn't find anyone able to keep up with the band's pace. In fact, as he explained to Pitchfork in 2005, there probably wouldn't have been a band at all without him:

I had seen the New York Dolls, and the idea was just to get a charismatic, sort of quirky band together. But then when we got together, they were coming up with really great songs, which I hadn't even thought about. Once I saw that, I said, "Wow, they could be more, they could be a real band." Basically from what they were coming up with musically, once I became the drummer I harnessed it and arranged it, and we turned it into what became the Ramones sound.
And, probably, there wouldn't have been any records without him, either:
I was pretty much on my own. They [the other Ramones] would come in and do the basic tracks, and Joey would do the vocals, and then I wouldn't see them for about a month or two. I was just left alone to work on the album.
His last public appearance as a Ramone was in 2004, at the Ramones Beat Down On Cancer gig.

Tommy Ramone was 62; he died from bile duct cancer in New York on July 11th.


Friday, July 11, 2014

The J-Pop recruits

How do you boost the number of soldiers at your disposal? Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, the natural choice is to, erm, recruit a J-Pop star:

"Working for the Self-Defence Forces presents boundless dreams - like the earth, ocean and the sea," says Haruka Shimazaki of the all-girl group AKB48 in a new 30-second commercial distributed by the Defence Ministry.

"There's work that you can only do here," she says with a smile. A pink heart-shaped cherry petal spins as she points to the English phrase "You AND PEACE."
Ah, peace. Of course peace. Because of Japan's pacifist constitution, right? It's all about the peacekeeping.
It was just a coincidence that the ad, part of a broader recruitment drive, came out just when Abe's Cabinet was reinterpreting the pacifist, post-World War Two constitution to allow Japan's 224,526-strong military to defend friendly nations under attack, said a Defence Ministry spokesman.
Japan very much moving from 'pacifist' to a 'they started it, what am I going to do, just walk away' constitution then. Japan wouldn't need to be pulling quite so many people into the forces if they weren't expecting to be having more fights in the future.

At least the Japanese Defence department admit they're being cynical:
"We want to give a friendly image and make it easier for youth to apply to the Self-Defence Forces," said the spokesman, who asked not to be named, citing ministry policy. "We chose a member of AKB48 because the group is popular and well-known among high school students, the main target of our recruitment."
And, given there's been 140 members of AKB48 over the last decade, they also know something about recruiting people to high-turnover positions.

It's surely only a matter of time before Perrie Edwards is popping up trying to coax people into the SAS.


Thursday, July 10, 2014

In Pieces: The Garth Brooks Dublin gig debacle

Garth Brooks had been supposed to play Dublin as his big European comeback moment.

That's all gone to shit incredibly quickly.

The original plan was for three nights at Croke Park Stadium, which sold out fantastically quickly. Two more dates were added, and they sold out rapidly, too.

Trouble is, under the agreement with local people when the Croke Park Stadium was opened, the venue is only allowed to hold three gigs a year.

A petition was created, locals objected. Dublin City Council listened, and refused a licence for the two extra nights.

Whereupon, a hissy fit was thrown and all five gigs were pulled and some country-and-western heartstring pulling ensued:

In response to the decision, Brooks had said he would play five concerts or none.
“To choose which shows to do and which shows not to do, would be like asking to choose one child over another. However this plays out, Ireland has my heart and always will” ,” he said.
To a casual observer, this seems to be ten gallon hat wearing hogwash: nobody's asking Brooks to choose which gigs to play, just saying the two extra gigs can't take place. Given they were to be the same set each night, it's less about choosing children and more about accepting that a couple fewer tins of beans will fit in your shopping trolley.

Except there's a strange twist here: The Irish Independent's Denise Calnan points out that Brooks is now distancing himself from the cancellation decision:
Garth writes that he ‘heard yesterday that the shows were cancelled’. Did he not cancel them? Aiken Promotions’ announcement yesterday simply read, ‘It is with great regret that Aiken Promotions today announce that the 5 concert Garth Brooks Comeback Special Event at Croke Park has been cancelled. No concerts will take place’.

Most of us assumed Garth was behind the final decision after his ‘Five shows or nothing’ proclamation.
Now, it appears, Garth isn't aware he was being forced to play a supersized version of Sophie's Choice at all. Curious. It's almost as if someone's playing games.

If the behaviour in the Brooks camp is raising eyebrows, the residents around the venue don't seem to be entirely straight, either. The police are investigating the petition after some people say their appearance on the list is as unlikely as Brooks' appearance at Croke Park:
Yvonne Corbet Bryan (41), who lives just off Clonliffe Road close to Croke Park, says she was shocked to receive a letter two weeks ago from Dublin City Council which acknowledged receipt of her submission against the concerts.

“Two weeks ago I received a letter which had my address on it, but the name of a woman down the road. I passed it down to her because I thought it was hers. And she said she never made any submission either.”

“She rang Dublin City Council to tell them that she never made a complaint. And detectives arrived last Monday to see if I wanted to sign a statement.”

“They asked me to sign a statement that my neighbour never lived at this address and that no complaint was made by either her or me from this address.”

“I am disgusted by this. I don’t think it’s one person doing this. I think it’s a group of people.”
There was also a counter petition, supporting the idea of five gigs:
And resident Susan Mangan, who helped organise a petition of 900 signatures in favour of all five Brooks gigs, said: “A lot of the community want these concerts to go ahead. We got 900 signatures.”
What a murky business. All that's missing for a full Hollywood movie is a sobbing child.

Hang on, there's a sobbing child:
Cameron Cloke – who became a viral hit after his parents pretended they were unable to get Garth tickets and put a video of his reaction online – burst into tears as he found out that the Oklahoma singer would not take to the Dublin stage after all.

The schoolboy had been due to attend on the Sunday night, and had his special T-shirt and cowboy hat at the ready. His father Michael, who was due to attend two of the concerts, said that his 10-year-old son was "very upset" last night.

"Since we told him he has just been crying," he explained.
The gigs weren't meant to be for another three weeks, which suggests that Cameron had got his special T-shirt ready a little early (how does one get a t-shirt ready, exactly? It's not exactly a rubber corset which requires reboning and polish before wearing). Also, you might be upset but still crying? Really? If you can't cope with a little misery you probably shouldn't be listening to country music.

There's still hope that the gigs could be saved, although given the nightmare the event has already turned into, you'd wonder why anyone would want that to happen.


Wednesday, July 09, 2014

Twittergem: The One Show


It's true: Manics and Major are both on The One Show this evening.

I suppose Wire and Major have more in common than you'd think: both found themselves having to keep things going after a popular and charismatic leader unexpectedly vanished in the 1990s.


Tuesday, July 08, 2014

Oh, Mo, you didn't

Lil' Mo went to see Prince, but needed a pee. "No problem", she thought, "I have a VIP pass - a VIPee pass, if you will. I shall just nip backstage and use the facilities there."

Oh, but it wasn't to be:

According to reports, the "Superwoman" singer had a VIP pass to the festival but apparently was stopped backstage when she tried to go use the bathroom because Prince was making his entrance to the show.
"Oh, never mind", thought Mo, "I can either hold it for a couple of minutes until Prince has passed through, or else use one of the other toilets out in the main area of the venue."

Hang on. No she didn't.

She moaned. On Instagram:
Lil Mo wasn't happy about it, and she made her opinion known on Instagram soon after, though her post has since been deleted.

It read:

"The muthaFCUKIN [sic] NOLA police just tried me and @dynamiteKO we had VIP passes to meander the whole superdome dude talmbout 'we gotta hold the walk through cuz PRINCE coming through the back' bitch wtf. I don't want to see him. I had to PEE. This industry shit is CRAZY. Erbody think they not human!!

Mannnnn.... I'm GONE."
Instagram? Why would you post that to Instagram? I mean, why would you post that anywhere, but especially Instagram?

Now, it's possible to have some sympathy with Mo - all she wanted was a wee, and she was blocked from doing so by Prince behaving like a prima donna.

On the other hand, it's Prince. Going to Prince gig and complaining that he's behaving like a 17th Century Laird is a bit like ordering a blue cheese sandwich and complaining the filling is mouldy. Given everything we know about Prince, would you really expect him to greet you, guide you to the dressing room toilets and rummage in his fannypack to share his Andrex wet wipes with you?

More to the point, if you're going to launch a stinging, if poorly spelled, attack on the self-obsessed, entitled nature of the music industry, "my VIP pass wasn't honoured" might be starting you off on shaky ground.

Still, Little Mo does have form for over-reacting when it comes to revenge:


Monday, July 07, 2014

Harry Styles likes porn

What's probably most interesting about the 'Harry Styles twitter account has a favourite on a porn picture' is this bit:

The singer first favourited the image back on May 22, but followers have only just noticed and began reacting on the microblogging site.
It took over a month for someone, anyone to notice? What sort of shabby obsessives are One Direction fans, exactly? Back when I was a nipper, if Simon LeBon changed his Sunday paper from the Times to the Telegraph, Duranies would have had a pile of Sunday Telegraph magazines burning by sunset, and that was without the internet.

Yet one of One Direction can put a star on a vagina, and the hundreds of thousands who claim to be obsessed don't even notice for over a month?

Unless, of course, the favouriting only just happened, but on an old picture, but that would mean DigitalSpy don't understand how Twitter works and that's unpossible, right?

So, DS, what happened?
Harry Styles appears to have publicly favourited a pornographic image on Twitter, unaware that fans can see it.

It is not clear whether the One Direction star intended to favourite the picture believing it would be hidden or whether he was hacked.
There is a third possibility that doesn't seem to have occurred to DS, which is that Harry favourited the photo knowing it would be public. Or the fourth, more likely possibility, that whoever is "Harry Styles" for the purposes of Twitter wanted to favourite the photo on their personal account, but were logged into their work account.
Fans have now managed to get the hashtag #HarryDontLickAnything into Twitter's worldwide Trending chart.
You're telling him to not lick anything? WHAT SORT OF FANS ARE YOU?