No Rock And Roll Fun

THEY'LL THINK I'M YOUR DAD/ AND YOU'RE MY DAUGHTER: Congratulations to Billy Joel, who's got engaged to his 22 year old girlfriend Kathie Lee. (At first we thought it was the woman who used to cohost with Regis, but no such luck.) Billy Joel, of course, divorced Chrissie Brinkley because he thought she was losing her looks. So best of luck to Kathie, then.

In other Billy Joel news - not a phrase we've had to over-use here - Twyla Tharp has taken a whole bunch of his songs and made a musical out of them. Clearly, the Queen, Madness and Rod Stewart cash cows has started a rush for everyone to try and grab a piece of the action - if Glen Gregory wants to get in touch, we've worked most of the tracks on Heaven 17's Penthouse and Pavement into a musical entertainment, which is more than Ben Elton managed to do with Queen's entire back catalogue. Twyla's story is something to do with people returning from Vietnam or something. It's called Movin' Out, and Joel is the muse singing the rage of Achilles, which would be your generation of American men. Some of whom come from Long Island. We hope that the whole audience is encouraged to sing along with We Didn't Start The Fire, and the music stops for the "JFK. Blown Away. What more do I have to say?" bit, but somehow we doubt it.