No Rock And Roll Fun

A FURTHER BUNCH OF GLASTONBURY COVERAGE: Like No Rock, The Joint took its Glastonbury through the television; they managed to see Basement Jaxx doing Where's Your Head At, which we missed, dammit. The Joint has done its time at Glastonbury - it went in 2000, the last year before something was done about the overcrowding. Free Market Fairy Tales opens its glastonbury entry with the words "I love this time of year – you know the summer solstice, Glastonbury music festival, beautiful English countryside overrun with hippies, new agers & other assorted weridos…oh, sorry according to the Guardianistas some of them are druids & pagan worshippers – a bunch of soap dodging dole moles more likely." I'm sure you can imagine where it goes from there - why don't they get jobs, yadda yadda. (In the good old days, it would have ended "Why don't you go and live in Russia?", a refrain the right have never been able to replace since Ronald Reagan single-handedly (apparently) dismantled communism one afternoon in 1987.) The confusion of genuine leftfielders with people who go to Glastonbury could, of course, have been easily corrected by a quick glance at Mark's Mobile News, exploring the joy brought to the festival by don't-call-them-sponsors Orange: "It has an illuminating tent, which can be located by text message, and has also unveiled a ringtone 'mix' service."

There's still not much hit the screens from people actually at Glastonbury - probably because One Day At A Time they're too busy catching up on sleep and wondering if they'll ever be able to clear the mud out of the plughole ever again; although Glastoblog of course managed to keep it going live: interesting perspective from them on the police presence: "The only time I have felt imtimidated by the police was on Thursday during the England v Portugal football match. We were watching from the back of a packed Pyramid field and a row of police on horseback loomed up at the rear during extra time. The atmosphere became heavy immediately but luckily for everyone, they soon moved on. On the whole this year, the police were a lot of fun, posing for muddy pictures with punters. They were taking photos on their own phones of themselves with punters too!" It seems police just can't help but view football supporters as a problem, no matter what context they're in - although, having said that, some of the coverage did report there were knuckleheads chanting "No surrender to the IRA" and other such "ooh, look at me with my shaven head and BNP vote", so maybe it wasn't so odd that the police were at their most tense during the ground caving in under Beckham's feet.

The big story at Glasto for the S-Spot wasn't Macca or Mozzer or even the weather: It was women pissing standing up. Our understanding is these toilets blew up a little in everyone's faces - not like that; what we mean is they completely underestimated demand and ran out of the cups very early on; tried to close down the service only for angry women to force their way into the loos.

And, talking of piss: Miss Muse demonstrates that our too-easy belief that anyone who likes Oasis now has been liking them since the start and just doesn't know how to stop isn't entirely true.