DOHERTY FAILS TO LIVE UP TO GALLAGHER'S HIGH STANDARDS

The no-show of Babyshambles at Oasis' Southampton gig has cost them the Milton Keynes support - and when you're so unreliable even the Gallaghers notice, you're in serious trouble. The Zutons have been drafted in to replace them:

A spokesperson for Oasis' management said Babyshambles failed to show at Southampton without any warning or explanation.

"As a result they don't want to run the risk of disappointing fans with another no show for such an important event this Saturday."

We're sure Liam will have a word with Pete: "all this partying with famous stars is all well and good, but now look, you've let yourself fown..."

Meanwhile, as Noel and Liam fall out of love with him, Katie Lewis - a previous squeeze of Doherty's - has issued a warning to Kate Moss not to get too wrapped up in her dreams of being the cult couple:

Kate needs to realise there's very little that's
actually real about Pete. It's like he's trying to work his way through the 'How To Be A Rock Star' handbook - he's done the drugs, sex, groupies and now the supermodel girlfriend.

There's nothing very original about him. He copied JIMI HENDRIX's jackets, drew a star on his face like DAVID BOWIE and played a gig
right outside Buckingham Palace - like the SEX PISTOLS.

Pete has so much to gain from his relationship with Kate - and she has nothing. I've been there, Kate, and trust me, there has only ever been one love in Pete's life. Don't think it's ever going to be you."

Which is more devastating than merely complaining he left the seat up and didn't call when he went out getting smack.

music pete doherty oasis babyshambles the zutons