SHE REALLY IS LIKE AN AMERICAN TOURIST

Apparently, Madonna keeps going back to see Mama Mia, the Abba musical, over and over again. Eight times now.

Unfortunately, it's inspired her in the wrong way. Rather than spotting that Abba secured their legacy by quitting at the top, and not watering down what they'd achieved by an inability to leave the stage even when the songs started to get less compelling, Madonna's just decided to sample the band instead.

Oh, if only we could persuade her to retire to Sweden. Or anywhere.

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