WE'LL ALWAYS HATE PARIS

Obviously, we don't begrudge Paris Hilton a go at the pop charts - hey, Orville had a go, the Krankies had a go, why shouldn't Hilton? But we do think someone needs to take her to one side and tell her that aiming for a Pussycat Dolls style burlesque dance routine would be like watching the Wurzels do the same thing. We've seen the burger advert - you've seen the burger advert, everyone had a look - and if that didn't convince her that she can't do sexy, it's probably unlikely that anything will, so surely it's down to a friend or a manager to sit her down and say "the last thing anyone wants to see is you in a corset doing some disconnected writhing. Cover your breasts up and try and think of something you're good at."

music paris hilton