RIGSBY WOULDN'T PUT UP WITH IT FROM HIS MISS JONES

If you're a landlord, there's probably a few things that chill you to the core - "how many cats", for instance, or "oh, no, I won't live there, I'm just renting it on behalf of Grace Jones."

Yes, Grace Jones had been living down on Chelsea Harbour, and it seems she didn't leave the flat in the same state as which it was found.

A writ for damages has been issued by her former landlord:

"The defendant failed to deliver the property in a tenable state.

Many of the fixtures and fittings were either missing, broken or rendered unusable as a result of being impregnated with cigarette smoke.

"The claimants incurred further costs in having to change the locks because the defendant failed to return the keys."

It also seems that, after Grace has been to stay, it's prudent to count the spoons:

[The] writ includes a demand for £168 for replacement of cutlery over the allegation that several spoons "had been blackened" on the underside, apparently on account of having been held in a flame.

We imagine Grace - or her guests - must have been attempting to make the spoons maleable enough to bend in a Uri Gellar fashion.

Jones' New York based agent Michael Schweiger reckons it's all a terrible misunderstanding:

"It sounds like rubbish to me. She would have mentioned it to me.

"I have never heard of any problems with that flat. She would not have left it in a mess...as far as I know she left there in good standing."

She would have mentioned it? "Hello, I'm just back from London... lovely trip; saw the Tower; burned the back of some spoons..."

Plug: (You won't believe the trouble I'm having getting the stains out of the) Warm Leatherette

[Plug: Oh, Miss Jones... - the complete Rising Damp]

music grace jones