In the space of one OK column, Kerry Katona manages to contradict herself something awful. First, she talks about being fined for using a mobile phone while driving:
"I've got no one else to blame but I've learned me lesson - and got a £30 fine."
Thirty quid is a lot of Iceland Mini Sausage Rolls. But hang on, when she dealing with claims she's been texting ex-husband Brian McFadden:
Surely that would have been a cast-iron defence when the police stopped her using a mobile while driving?
Of course, this is a little like the time when Max Clifford stood up and told the press Kerry had never used drugs, ever shortly before Kerry told the press how she'd done a lot of cocaine after McFadden left her.