This morning, Victoria Newton announces she's solved the problem of William Windsor's love life:
[...] But there’s only one man for her – Amerie’s clearly amorous for Wills.
'He's cute and I could meet the Queen' isn't quite the basis for a longstanding relationship, and, to be honest, doesn't really stand up the claim that "there's only one man for her", does it?
But how did you discover this potential new face at the Court of St James, Victoria? Have you been lining up potential young ladies and asking them if they'd be interested in a bunk-up with a well-connected but lightly-chinned chap?
So, in effect, Victoria has been flicking through magazines looking for William's next love. And, erm, something to fill the yawning, cavernous gap that is the Bizarre column.