Lil'Chris, who apparently hasn't yet worked out that he's being patronised for a living, has just got back from the McFly tour. They sound like, oh, such a laugh:
"The scorpions were crunchy, the ants bitter and like body odour. Danny ate some worms and ants then threw up on me."
"Tom (Fletcher) stole my wallet and Danny and Dougie (Poynter) photocopied my driving licence and the picture of me without a hat.
"They put 100 copies of it round the theatre we were in and left some custard in a condom in my wallet."
Chris is, what, seventeen years old, and McFly are even older. It's not entirely clear why they seem to have confused 'tour' with 'twelve year olds on an exchange trip'.