Simon Cowell has brought the weight of his experience making Gareth Gates a star to give his opinion on Britney's VMA experience.
She wasn't very good, he says. See? That's the sort of insight you could only get from a professional.
Although, surely, the problem was lack of rehearsal, and her management not being able to get her in the right place at the right time?
Not that he's hedging his bets. He'd have made a great doctor: "I'm sorry, your husband is dead. At the moment, anyway."
We love the way that "getting through a round on the X Factor" is being used here as if it's some sort of assay unit of musical quality. Louis Walsh pops up, too:
In other words: the X Factor would have rejected the woman who made Oops I Did It Again and Toxic in favour of Shayne Ward. There would be your "price of everything, value of nothing" right there, then.