Poor Thomas Whittaker, whose decent little scoop about Heather Mills' settlement cracks under the weight of having to use the official Sun formulation of "dubbed Mucca over her porn past", despite nobody outside Wapping using the nickname. And it has to try and fit the "greedy, cash-grubbing harridan" prism into which the story has been served for the last couple of years, despite it not really fitting the actual detail, which seems to be McCartney being generous:
It is FIVE TIMES the amount Heather, dubbed Mucca over her porn past, had originally demanded from the fomer Beatle.
They decided on the settlement to avoid a lengthy legal battle for the sake of daughter Beatrice, three.
It's too much for anyone, of course, but for McCartney it's the sort of cheque he can write without breaking a sweat. He's actually got a chequebook which has the "million pounds" pre-printed the way ordinary people have the "£" symbol filled-in for them. He does, it's true.
So, despite the papers' desperate hopes for an even longer, messier, public divorce, the couple have settled quietly, relatively quickly and fairly amicably.