Oh, no. Gordon might seem obsessed with what he calls - with all the grace of a sexually paranoid fifteen year-old - "crackers", but he has other interests, you know.
Arses, to be exact.
His big story this morning is, erm, a pair of pictures of what he claims are the Hilton sister's butts.
Of course, you can't just print photos of bottoms. You need to have a news angle.
Oh, apparently you don't.
Still, he's got the story about Robbie Williams going to Amsterdam. Like the Mirror had the day before.