James alludes to this in the comments, and thanks also to Barry S who emailed us the link to Football365's Mediawatch column:
1) Please crawl back into the vile, putrid gutter from whence you came and never darken our door again, but before that, 2) Do a spot of research.
From today's 'column':
'TODAY is C-Day for love rat ASHLEY COLE.
'The cheating Chelsea star will come face to face with wife CHERYL tonight for showdown talks on their crumbling marriage.'
That might come as something of a surprise to Cashley himself, as he is currently with the rest of the Chelsea squad in Greece, preparing for their Champions League game with Olympiakos tonight.
But hey, they put 'TODAY' in capitals, so it must be true.
Tomorrow, it will still be in capitals, but with underlining.