Liz Jones is spluttering with outrage at the thought of Amy Winehouse launching a clothes and cosmetics range - even although there's been no real suggestion it's going to happen.
But it's not just that which has angered Liz. A vague suggestion that fashion magazines might like to carry photos of Winehouse, and she's off again:
Shulman didn't mention whether or not she, along with every other glossy magazine editor worth her clothing allowance, was pursuing the 24-year-old multi-Grammy Award winner to appear on Vogue's cover.
But I can only guess that if she were offered Winehouse's services, she would leap at the chance to boost circulation.
Yes, the level of conclusion-jumping and speculation in an average Jones piece can be seen from the Moon.
But just imagine: a publication putting a photo of Amy Winehouse on the front to boost sales. Thank god the Mail would never stoop so low, eh?
Jones then lays into the fashion industry:
Instead, the industry feeds on the disposable, the young, the tragic and the new.
Liz shares some heart-rending letters from young women, desperate to break into fashion, before snorting:
They would see for themselves that the models, while young and beautiful and tall and slim, are not remotely perfect.
Yes, Jones is attacking the cruel and twisted fashion industry from the front row of the biggest fashion jolly of them all.
We're wondering that ourselves, Liz.