"Well, Kirstie, the house is right but I was hoping for something more like a safari park than a zoo..."

Michael Jackson's beloved Neverland Ranch could soon be passing into ownership of a grown-up. Jacko owes £12.5million on the place, and unless he coughs up in the next few weeks, he'll become the highest-profile victim of the credit crunch. Lenders will stack his collection of Magazines About Chess outside the gates and start to auction the property.