really does appear in today's Mirror:
Soap stars Tom Hudson and Lucy Evans are turning Weatherfield into Corriewood with their new dazzling smiles. The pair, who play Paul and Lauren, had their teeth whitened at Manchester's Transform and now boast shiny gnashers.
They could just replace Clemmie and Thingy with a script that would publish press releases straight to the paper. Clearly there's no need for a consideration of editorial values.