DigitalSpy reheats a story from this morning's Daily Star which claims some poor kid somewhere is going to be named after a Hoosiers song.
Before you call social services, let's just look at the facts:
A source said: "Irwin was approached by a guy in Mallorca who asked for his autograph, they chatted for a bit then went their separate ways.
"An hour later he came back with his pregnant girlfriend. He asked Irwin to be godfather to his unborn twins and promised they'd name one Ray if they had a boy."
So, for a start, this is from a "source" - what possible grounds could there be for not revealing who fed this story to the papers? Is it such a terrible secret that the Star had to hear it at midnight in an underground car park? Did Dawn Neesom herself spot a plant pot on a balcony in town, alerting her to a potential leak of such magnitude?
But let's assume that this "source" exists and that the story is genuine: it hangs on the supposition that there was someone in Mallorca who recognised Irwin Sparkes, and was then so thrilled to get an autograph that - for some reason - an hour later he offered him the naming rights to one of his kids. And godfathership. And yet he said he'd name the kid Ray after one of the songs, and not Irwin, after Irwin?
We're not saying it didn't happen. But we're surprised that even the Daily Star felt that it was worth sharing. Filling the pages must be challenging now they're trying hard not to lie about the McCanns anymore.