Perhaps the 3AM Girls really do stay up to 3AM writing their column, which would explain why (a) it reads like it's been written by people who desperately want to be asleep and (b) it sometimes doesn't come spuming out of the TrinityMirror RSS machine until lunchtime.
Now they're live, we can all enjoy what sort-of-passes for wit amongst the Spice Girls:
Well, yes, that'll show Murphy.
They also find room fro this:
Woman discovers man she doesn't know isn't in when she phones him! Hold the front page! We do, however, enjoy the implication that while Osbourne might lack the luck of the Irish, it certainly didn't desert O'Donoghue. If, of course, he really was working in LA, and not merely hiding behind the sofa mouthing "tell her I'm in LA" when Kelly rang.