Never mind the Who / Torchwood / Sarah Jane Adventures triple crossover this weekend. This morning, it's Gordon In The Morning meets Gennaro Castaldo Watch.
Yes, Gordon's attempt to try and argue that Coldplay are cool was struggling:
But that means there are 500,000 uncool people in the UK alone who have rushed out to buy the band’s latest album Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends in the last fortnight.
And I am not ashamed to be included in the figures.
Really, Gordon? You went out and bought it? In a shop? But didn't you tell us that you'd been sent a free copy to review before it came out?
Still, Gordon feels his love of the band has been justified because of the sales:
Gordon doesn't mention the Beatles did it back when it wasn't quite so easy; not the way Coldplay released their records during this bit-of-a-lull period for record sales to boost the chance of this sort of thing happening. (The sales of the album were huge, but the double chart-topper probably wouldn't have happened if they'd tried it in, say, December.)
And Gordon does allow that it's not automatically a guarantee of never-ending cool:
Younger readers might be unaware that Rod Stewart is actually the father of Rod Stewart's Daughter.
Gordon tries another tack: they're modern:
= their tunes are available for download. Like the Top Gear album and the Thunderbugs back catalogue.
Struggling to demonstrate why 'selling like baked beans or bus tickets' is the same thing as being great, Gordon calls in Gennaro:
"So while many more of us are downloading, this clearly shows that the music-loving public still love their CDs."
"The most amount of pre-orders"? Clearly, parachuting into Gordon's column has damaged Castaldo's power of control over the English language.
Still flailing, Gordon manages to describe Coldplay's sales as if he's talking about bird flu:
In record company speak, they have conquered all the vital territories — Japan, America and Europe.
It spreads so easily these days because of air travel, you see.
Not just proud, but - by getting a lead story out of 'popular, mid-market band sell lots of records to middle markets' - you've become their cheerleader. If ever Murdoch tires of you, EMI's press department will always have a home for you.