Gordon in the morning: One of those good days

Every so often - and it feels like once every eleven months or so - Gordon runs a story which manages to be believable, something we didn't already know and actually quite interesting. I suspect he does it just to throw the grey churn of day after day grinding out stuff about Kelly Brook's breasts into even sharper relief.

Whatever, the revelation that Lily Allen was a ringer on an Atomic Kitten track is wonderful; the claim being that Natasha Hamilton was too unwell to sing Keith Allen's song for the theme tune to Mike Bassett: England Manager, and - surprise - Lily just happened to be ready for a go.

Gordon even has quite a good joke, as well, because he has a picture of a teenage Lily with some puppets:

And I love the one on the left with the Sooty and Sweep puppets.

I bet she did some brilliant voice-overs for them too.

Back to business as grimly usual, though, when Gordon runs the frightful picture of Madonna and Mercy:

MADONNA holds little MERCY JAMES to her breast at a Malawi orphanage — in a tender scene the day before her adoption hopes were dashed.

The snap emerged yesterday as Madge, 50, vowed to keep fighting for the three-year-old to become a sister for her adopted Malawian son DAVID.

Snap, Gordon? "Snap"? Perhaps, if it was a grabbed snap, it might be tender. But not only is the thing posed, it's been whacked through the "Athena Poster" filter in Photoshop. Twice. Apart from adding on tears of blood, and perhaps a UFO over Madonna's right shoulder, the thing couldn't feel more faked.