The non-stories underlining how utterly fantastic JLS are seem to have started to dry up in the Sun, so they're now punting them to the next tier down. A breathless Dan Wootton pants off:
Band studs MARVIN HUMES and ASTON MERRYGOLD are being forced to flee their luxury pad in London after being hounded with saucy propositions from female fans.
My insider revealed: "Aston and Marvin love living together but they're considering moving for security reasons."
The odd woman is stood in the street saying "lick my privates", and that's a security issue? Really?
Perhaps they should stop using Lynx. I'm given to understand this is a side-effect of that.