There's going to be another Gallagher child, as Noel is about to become a Daddy again. We can only be thankful that the pain he was telling the Canadian courts about yesterday didn't interfere with that.
Given that all he has is 'Noel and Sara are expecting', Gordon goes to extremes to fill in a story about this. Luckily, he doesn't get his Photoshop guys to mock up the moment of conception. Instead, he reaches for "a source":
A source said: "Noel and Sara are over the moon. They're so happy that Donovan will have a little partner in crime to play with. Their family is complete.
"Their pals have been joking that Nelson is a frontrunner on names as they think the baby was conceived on a holiday to South Africa."
Got to love the "their family is complete" bit - because that's exactly the sort of thing you say to other people at the start of a pregnancy. "If anyone asks, tell them our family is complete."
But what's this about Nelson? It turns out it's something that's been made up purely to allow a punning headline:
Noels Son Mandela
- which would only be clever if the baby had been going to be called Nelson. As it is, Gordon doesn't really have any reason to expect it's going to be a boy.
Still, if there's one thing Gordon knows about, it's Noel Gallagher:
Noel - who has a daughter Anais, ten, from a previous relationship - has been taking a break from the limelight since Oasis split last summer.
Smart does admit that this break includes playing two gigs at the Royal Albert Hall, but also seems to have missed the whole 'making an advert for tennis shoes', announcing a new solo project, and attempting to take the focus off Kasabian at the WarChild post-Brits gig, and giving a statement about being pushed over to the courts, and offering support to the World Cup bid and...