Some footballer going on about how much he loves Oasis at length? Somehow, as Gordon was reaching for the massive spike, he slipped and it's leading the page today.
Full declaration, though: this line did make me smile:
LIONEL MESSI - the planet's most special footballer since ARCHIE GEMMILL
- although given the love of Kasabian, he might not be making a joke selecting a hoofer for special praise.