Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Gordon in the morning: The wit of Noel Gallagher

Gordon is besides himself with joy this morning, leading with a riposte from Noel Gallagher to a tweet by Gary Neville:

IT has been a while since NOEL GALLAGHER served up one of his razor-sharp verbal volleys.
Neville, it appears, tweeted a tweet that used an Oasis lyric.

So, let us share this "razor-sharp verbal volley" (which actually appears to have been written down):
"I feel violated. If Mr Neville continues to use the holy scriptures of Oasis to communicate with the Cockney massive, I shall be forced to come up to Cheshire in the middle of the night, break into his house, tie him to a chair, make him listen to the Best Of Simply d(Red)ful while I pull his tash out one grey hair at a time (with my teeth), liberate those Oasis CDs and s*** in his manbag. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED..."
If Smart thinks that's "razor sharp" he's going to have a beard by the end of the week.

In fact, all that tying him to a chair and thoughts of brushing each other while Noel's mouth moves over Neville's upper lip makes this read more like slashfic than Oscar Wilde. Transgressive love is powerful, isn't it, Gordon?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I like that he implies that Neville is some sort of sissy whose fans are all southern, not like him, and then threatens to come "*up* to Cheshire" to sort him out. I bet he even says "London" without putting "that" in front of it.

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