Gordon in the morning: How Rihanna stole Christmas

Rihanna loves Christmas, the whole Christmas season,
But it's not gifts or turkeys she gives as her reason.
Maybe it's the 500 k she gets for those nights
she turns up in London to turn on the lights.
She drifts by, eventually, a whole hour late,
flicks at a switch and sings (not so great).
Each in the crowd, they turned to their friend:
"We wait an hour, she didn't stay to the end!"
For as soon as she arrived - to make all things worse -
she dashed off the stage, song hanging, mid-verse!
Half a million, half a song; it's somewhat slapdash.
And they could have got Pink for a third of the cash.

(With heartfelt apologies to Dr Seuss)