Saturday, December 29, 2012

The 2012 inch remix: October

The New Statesman asked why the NME has so many dead people on its cover.

Getty have come up with a way of turning Soundcloud into money, Blavatnik bought into Deezer and Simon Fuller is thinking of buying the EMI cold cuts.

If we're to believe Spotify, 1 in 3 people can think of a song that's better than sex.

Marilyn Manson and Rob Zombie were touring together. Well, not so much together.

Primark has become a record shop. Channel 4 is lining up a chart show. Did we slip back to 1982?

Or possibly 1952: HMV told its female staff to wear skirts.

The ideas for a Nirvana jukebox musical got aired in court. Coachella offered to drop meat if the Smiths would reform. Liam Gallagher made it through 23 minutes of a George Michael gig.

LiveNation don't want to put gigs on in Hyde Park any more. James Blunt doesn't want to make music any more.

Well done, Madonna. Go to a city still traumatised by a mass shooting in a cinema, and pretend to shoot the audience.

We can all relax, though: Kate really does love William, because Cheryl Cole is prepared to vouch for her.

[Part of 2012 inch remix]


Friday, December 28, 2012

The 2012 inch remix: September

Political Scrapbook suddenly remembered Gary Barlow and Dave "Dave" Cameron's school competition, but wasn't sure if they did. NME suddenly remembered their 60th birthday was six months earlier, and had a belated celebration.

Grant Shapps' photo op saving Ringo Starr's house was a wee bit undermined when it turned out he'd signed the papers to have it demolished. Up the road, Manchester City Council blew half a million on an Alicia Keys gig.

Lady GaGa's meat dress is heading to a museum. Not the stew it would be perfect for. Brian May would rather animals be kept alive, so he called for a cultural boycott of badger cull areas.

Madonna decided to help Obama by, erm, calling him a Muslim.

You know who's lazy? Rappers, says Chuck D. You know who's disgusting? Gay people, said Paris Hilton.

Guilfest announced it was calling it a day.

Marilyn Manson got a letter from the man whose name he stole. Professor Green got gently mocked on Twitter, and so unleashed a hate mob in return.

One Direction admit they owe a debt to the Clash.

After Universal promised to flog off much of the value, the US and the EU agreed to the EMI takeover. After years, Lyor Cohen quit Warners and MySpace announced plans for another relaunch.

[Part of 2012 inch remix]


Thursday, December 27, 2012

Telegraph sees hope for HMV

There's some cheerful news for HMV today, as the Telegraph has some words of encouragement about the chain's future:

It is understood Universal is liable for the rent on approximately 40 HMV stores after buying the retailer's former parent company EMI earlier this year. The rent liabilities highlight the close relationship between HMV and its suppliers, which are trying to support the retailer with a series of initiatives.

EMI guaranteed rental agreements on HMV stores when the retailer was spun out of the record label in 1998. It is understood that Universal then assumed these guarantees when it acquired troubled EMI.
Obviously this is good news of the 'you need chemo, but you look good in a hat' variety.

First, it's not actually anything to do with the core business - not about selling things, merely suggesting that as the decline continues the's a bit more strength in the props.

Secondly, Universal are obviously only one supplier to the chain - they might have an interest in keeping the thing alive (beyond the cash all the majors are pumping in to help Nipper keep his nose above water), but why would the other labels - or studios, or manufacturers of games or headphones - give a raspberry fart about how much extra hurt Universal would feel if the store vanished?

Sure, Universal has its mitts on a massive share of the music business, but if a store could survive by its catalogue alone, there would be Universal-branded shops on the high street.

Finally, the fact that the bill will only sting Universal if no new tenants are found for the stores - true, times are tough. But these are the 40 stores which HMV have stuck with since being spun out of EMI in the last century. Presumably the reason why these branches haven't moved or been closed already is because they're in great locations - Universal are underwriting the best bits of the network. And a good location for HMV is probably going to be no worse for a Sainsburys Local. It's hugely unlikely that Universal would have to pick up the tab for every place.

In short, then: less "good news for HMV", more "mildly discomforting news for Universal but they can always do with more tax write off".

Apart from anything: the likely cost of writing off an HMV failure would have been factored into the price Universal paid for EMI this year.


The 2012 inch remix: August

Marilyn Manson drew swears on his face to "stop" the paparazzi photographing him. Madonna fell out with Elton John for some reason and a shocked world discovered U2 are an influence on Muse.

Even Lil Wayne is bored of Lil Wayne. Shaggy doesn't appear in the charts these days because the charts don't deserve him, apparently.

Simon Fox left HMV while there was still an HMV to leave.

Gibson got a piddly little fine for their part in destroying Madagascar and Newt Gingrich decided not to fight Survivor after misappropriating Eye Of The Tiger.

The person responsible for commissioning The Voice couldn't remember the winner's name. But who can? Voice judge Will I Am became the first act to have his music debuted on Mars; as a result bookmakers shortened the odds on an angry invasion of Martians.

The Jazz Butcher are making a new record. Also returning was Jaz Coleman, who didn't even realise he was missing. Slowdive could return, theoretically.

Morrissey didn't care for the Olympics. Pink made a small joke about Chris Brown, and got death threats as a result.

In Liverpool, after the Mathew Street festival was cancelled, it sounds like it might never return.

[Part of the 2012 inch remix]


Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Bookmarks: Taylor Swift

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together. But what is the identity of the "indie record", exactly? A Careless Man's Careless Daughter has gone all Sherlock. Here's a taste of the working being shown:

were there any more recently released indie records floating around during their relationship that might have been the indie record that was much cooler than taylor swift’s? let us confront the pitchfork top albums of 2011


The 2012 inch remix: July

Part of my formative years, Rounder Records in Brighton announced it was closing.

In our only pie chart of the year, we illustrated the Clap Your Hands Say Yeah split. In their attempt to cope with the deluge of music news, Drowned In Sound decided to stop trying.

Destiny's Child are going to reform. Maybe. One day. But Codeine are definitely back.

Jaz Coleman vanished rather than take part in a gig with The Mission. Al Jourgensen made it to the stage, but not through his set.

Because their old label was being a dick about things, Def Leppard covered their own music. Elsewhere, Meat Load is still pursuing a bloke who used to be a Meat Loaf lookalike.

The Bloc festival dissolved in chaos, Springsteen's Hyde Park gig was cut not-exactly-short and floods did for the Stock Aitken And Waterman show. A Slipknot gig ended when Corey Taylor had a little nap during the set.

Global Radio decided to extend their radio brands into the dying world of music video television. Headphone manufacturer Beats bought MOG for some reason. Perhaps they thought they were buying Meg And Mog?

Kate Moss turns out to not really have written the Babyshambles song she wrote. Plan B did a photoshoot wearing a Skrewdriver tshirt, but it was okay because skinheads and hoodies are the same, you see?

I'm going to assume that the Stacey Solomon 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' style sitcom Gordon Smart announced is still in development. Likewise the idea for using Chris Moyles which Radio One supposedly had.

Chumbawamba won't be getting up again.

[Part of the 2012 inch remix]


Tuesday, December 25, 2012

The 2012 inch remix: June

Which organisation made the greatest contribution to music this year? Delta Airlines, who lost Ed Sheeran's guitars.

In a bid to try and stay afloat, HMV offloaded its venues business. Plans to tour the finalists from The Voice fell apart due to lack of interest.

Briefly, Elvis' crypt was on sale. Briefly, Ringo Starr's house was saved again.

Ween split, but forgot to let each other know. Hundred Reasons split with such force, Cable got back together briefly as a result.

In the war between Morrissey and the NME, Morrissey won. In a battle between Dio and Westboro Baptist "Church", Dio won. Elsewhere, the French Front National threatened to sue Madonna over suggestions that their fascism was somehow fascist.

The Stone Roses tried to snaffle photographers' copyright.

Tesco bought We7. Samsung announced an iTunes killer which looked a lot like a fridge. Because it was a fridge. Ping did die, though.

Billy Corgan pronounced music dead, killed by the internet. Shirley Manson saw signs of life.

Usher thinks he's in with a chance of an Oscar.

[Part of the 2012 inch remix]


Monday, December 24, 2012

Rockobit: Mike Scaccia

Mike Scaccia, founder member of Rigor Mortis, has died after collapsing on stage.

Scaccia was playing with Ministry - who he joined in 1989, long after that band had abandoned their synthpop roots and more than met Scaccia's death metal halfway. He appears to have suffered a sudden heart attack brought on by heart disease.

Al Jourgensen posted a message on the Ministry website:

I JUST LOST MY LIL' BROTHER AND MY BEST FRIEND - THE 13TH PLANET COMPOUND IS DEVASTATED,COMPLETELY IN SHOCK AND SHATTERED. MIKEY WAS NOT ONLY THE BEST GUITAR PLAYER IN THE HISTORY OF MUSIC, BUT HE WAS A CLOSE, CLOSE, CLOSE PART OF OUR FAMILY - AND I JUST LOST A HUGE CHUNK OF MY HEART TODAY. OUR LIVES ARE FOREVER CHANGED. LIFE WITHOUT MIKEY IS LIKE ORANGE JUICE WITHOUT PULP - KIND OF BLAND. I HAVE NO WORDS TO EXPRESS WHAT THIS GUY MEANT TO ME, MY FAMILY, MY CAREER....EVERYTHING!
GET TO KNOW HIS LEAD PARTS - FOR THEY ARE IN THE PANTHEON OF MUSIC! UNFORTUNATELY, MOST OF YOU DIDN'T GET TO KNOW MIKEY'S SOUL -WHICH IS IN THE PANTHEON OF HUMANITY. HE IS MY HERO, MY FRIEND AND MY IDOL. MIKEY WAS ALWAYS BESIDE ME - MY RIGHT HAND MAN - THROUGH THICK AND THIN, THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY AND THE BEAUTIFUL.
REST IN PEACE MY BROTHER, MY FRIEND, MY HEART. PLEASE PRAY FOR MIKE SCACCIA AND JENNY, HIS WIFE AND THEIR CHILDREN, AND HIS FAMILY.....AL
Scaccia was also, sometimes, a member of Jourgensen and Jello Biafra's sideproject Lard, getting a co-writers credit on Mangoat:

Mike Scaccia was 47.


The 2012 inch remix: May

Eurovision! Go Hump! Oh... Hump.

Beyonce was recognised for her, erm, journalism while Tulisa called winning FHM's sexiest woman "self-indulgent".

Courtney Love lost Kurt Cobain's face.

Ola Ray finally got properly paid for screaming in the Thriller video. She could spend some of the money buying Michael Jackson's hair.

The RIAA are sloppy with their takedown notices and BPI attempts to close down The Pirate Bay boosted visitor numbers by millions. EMI were more successful pushing mp3tunes into bankruptcy.

ViaGoGo put their taxes in the hands of the Swiss authorities.

The BBC suggested what it might have to cut to make ends meet; the Mail raged that some of the cash they did have was spent playing Gary Glitter tracks.

Mark Ronson told Village Voice Amy Winehouse was "freaked out" by Adele's success. Only he didn't, actually. An earlier claim of misquotation, NME versus Morrissey, appeared to be heading for the High Court.

The company who served papers on the Beastie Boys the day before Adam Yauch died at least had the good grace to look a bit ashamed.

Sainsburys started selling downloads, hoping that nectar points would be an iTunes killer. (Spoiler: They're not.) Don't worry, though, Samsung are going to have a go at killing iTunes, too.

The end of Handsome Furs was announced.

And The Stone Roses came back. Oh.

[Part of the 2012 inch remix]


Sunday, December 23, 2012

Dodgy tenners

Exciting news from the NME:

The Beatles, Mick Jagger and Robbie Williams are among the names being considered to appear on the new £10 banknote, it has been revealed.
Except, that's not quite true. What has happened is the Bank Of England has released a list of 150 names which have been suggested by members of the public as brilliant ideas for who should be on the ten pound note.

The NME might believe this is the BOE considering the names; I suspect the real reason the list has been released is so that people can snigger at the stupidity of suggesting gurning old Williams being in every pocket in the land.


Record labels lose odd-smelling YouTube views

YouTube have been tidying up view figures, removing dubious counts.

Who has been especially hit by this purge o'views?

Why, record labels. The Daily Dot reports:

Universal's channel is the one that took the biggest hit. According to figures compiled by the YouTube statistics analysts at SocialBlade, the record company's YouTube channel lost more than 1 billion views from its preexisting tally of 7 billion views Tuesday.

Sony/BMG was the second largest sufferer, dropping more than 850 million views in one day, bringing its total number of views to a mere 2.3 million. RCA, which got off scot free by comparison, dipped 159 million views. Its tally now sits more modestly at 120 million views.
Of course, there's no evidence of wrong-doing, and Google is known for its caprice in how it handles, well, everything.

But it does look as if, once again, the labels haven't quite been living up to the virtues they expect the rest of us to achieve.

[UPDATE: Billboard thinks it can account for nearly all the lost views. The "nearly" is significant]


The 2012 inch remix: April

Excitingly, the bloke who claimed George Michael's street was haunted by a ghost vampire turned up in the comments to swear his story was true. Despite ghosts, vampires and George Michael all being fictional characters.

When the original One Direction objected to the Cowell outfit lifting their name, overreacting fans sent death threats. Capital Radio, though, declared One Direction dead to them after the band accidentally thanked Radio One for an award the limp commercial network had given them.

The difficulty in living during a shift between funding models is it's hard to tell if digital royalties overtaking club and pub royalties is a good thing or not. HMV decided it might have been hasty when it dumped selling vinyl.

The NME decided not to give Pete Doherty too hard a time when they met him. Meanwhile, Krissi Murison announced she was off to the Sunday Times.

Axl Rose decided not to go to the GNR Rock And Roll Hall of Fame induction. But he wanted to make sure everyone noticed. John Lydon equally drew a lot of attention to a record he didn't want anyone to buy.

Bob Geldof wanted us to know about investment opportunities. Madonna's first week album sales weren't too bad. The second week sales stank, though.

Ominously, Blur started to drop hints that their short return might extend indefinitelty. Kasabian hopefully suggested they were a bit like Radiohead.

Plan B called for disadvantaged kids to be given a chance. And then gave a hand to one of Made In Chelsea to launch a music career. Peter Andre's second career as a restaurateur, though, ran into trouble.

Sonisphere axed itself.

Joni Mitchell quit music to work for people with a rare condition and ill-health put paid to Sinead O'Connor's touring plans.

Grooveshark tried to pretend it was dropping EMI music because three major labels was more cartel-like than four. George Martin described the EMI takeover as "the worst thing music has ever faced".

[Part of the 2012 inch remix]